Monday, January 30, 2012

You Fill Up My Senses

 Is what Claire was singing at the top of her lungs last night. I loved hearing her little voice as you can only really make out the last word of each sentence. Watching as she would get louder and throw her head back to really scream (like a mountain in spring time!) and then tuck in her chin and look at the ground for the soft effect. (a sleepy blue ocean) She knows when to be loud and when to be soft. It actually is one of the first songs she would sing the whole song through. Good old John Denver.

   As I watched her I knew I had to capture this moment. I understand that raising kids is tough. A lot of times it is not a picnic and really far from it. Lately I have been trying to put my feelings down about how raising a child with a disability is just .... and that is where I get stuck. It is just what exactly, that isn't just like raising a "normal" child. Then last night as Claire was singing at the top of her lungs while hiding out in the pantry doing what she does best... whatever I tell her not to do... I thought of a way I might be able to explain a small thought of what it is like for me.

Claire you fill up MY sense of

Joy with your adorable eyes that turn into rainbows when you really smile.

Happiness with the way you say "ughs!" (hugs)

Frustration when I realize I have no way of knowing if you really understand.

Urgency and worry when I realize you are no where in sight and I have no clue where you have run off to.

Relief when the neighbor down the street has saved you from getting hit by a car.
Sadness for the things you won't get in this life

Amazement at all you have overcome and accomplished in your short 3 years

Compassion.

Love.

Life.

5 comments:

Familia_Henderson said...

I think Claire was very blessed to be born into such a good family!

Unknown said...

We miss Claire! It's so cute that she's already singing John Denver.

Amy said...

Claire bear we sure love you. Can't wait to see you all again. Claire will accomplish a lot in her life because of who she is and the family she has.

Amy said...

That comment was from mom Dougal not Amy. She must not have signed out on my iPad.

Unknown said...

I remember last summer the morning before you were going back to Indiana Claire was throwing a fit and you all started singing that song and pretty soon she was singing at the top of her lungs. I immediately bought that song and listen to it all the time. It reminds me of you, Jon and sweet Claire.