Kindergarten

When I thought about how Claire’s first day of kindergarten would go, I didn’t expect the things that happened. Reflecting on it on the way home I was able to realize how much of a trial and error process this really is.  I should have known these things would have happened. Yet when I thought about how it would go, everything we had planned just made logical sense. That should have been my first clue. Logic and Claire have never gone hand in hand.

Little Claire was soooo excited to go to school today. She couldn’t wait to go. Finally it was time. We walked up to the school, waited for the bell and then let Marcella walk her to her classroom, as it was on the way to her own classroom.  Jon and I waited outside, trying to decide if we should go in and meet her para (a gal that will be working with her every day. Helping her to stay focused and where she needs to be).   My first mistake was thinking that since we discussed her need of a para back in May, that they would have already had one hired and we would be able to actually meet her if not before back to school night, at least at back to school night. In reality, getting teachers hired apparently takes longer than I anticipated and not only was her para not available to meet at back to school night, at least she was going to be there for the first day of school.  At back to school night I also found out the special Ed teacher was just hired last Thursday and she wasn’t even sure who the other teacher was that is going to be in the classroom with her, as she was still in the process of getting hired.  

Back to waiting outside the school.

We decided to go in and meet Claire’s para. As we were walking towards Claire’s classroom, I see my 2^nd mistake. Oh, boy I thought why didn’t  I see this coming. I watch Marcella walk out of Claire’s classroom and start down the hall for her room.  3 seconds later Claire comes running out of the classroom catching up to Marcella with her teacher right behind. We approach as they have been trying to coax her to stand up and come back to the classroom. We wave Marcella goodbye and help Claire into her room.  3^rd mistake: We should have waited outside the school for her para to meet her.  Instead we wait in the classroom for her to arrive. We meet and introduce her to Claire. Then it is time for us to leave. Claire has a major freak out. Flaling her arms around like a mad girl so you can’t get a hold of her as she tries to run away. Meanwhile huge tears and screams are starting to be heard. We hand her over to her para say goodbye and walk away hearing her cries and screams get softer because we are leaving the building.

Mistake 4: thinking that since she has been going to school for 3 years, this will be a piece of cake. She knows how to go into a classroom and for the most part follow directions. The plan we had of Marcella taking her down and dropping her off and then picking her up again for the bus ride home seemed like the perfect idea. She would get to be with her sister, whom she adores.  However I never took into consideration the obvious things that now I am hitting my head over.  1. for 3 years I have never once taken her to school. The bus came, she got on and went to school.  2. It is a new school. It is way more hectic and crazy in the morning with hundreds of kids. 3. She spent the last year of preschool not seeing any kids but the kids in her preschool class.  They had to be moved to a house because of the tornado that destroyed their school last year so she not only is not used to being with so many kids, she isn’t used to navigating herself around them to find her classroom.  4. Didn’t even think about how now you are in kindergarten you get to spend most of your time sitting at your desk. Not playing and then sitting and then playing again etc. You are expected to come in and sit at your desk and wait for school to start.  5. I somehow ALWAYS seem to forget that this little girl hates chaos. She hates it being too loud and if things are a little too hectic she shuts down.  This morning was anything but calm.

On my way to school I felt that we had prepared pretty well for this day. On my walk home I felt like I had failed in every aspect.  She has been at school for 50 minutes and I am wondering if I should call and see if she is still crying.  Such a drastic intro in to kindergarten. My hope is that the remaining 5 hours are a bit better.  The sad thing is knowing that she can’t communicate well enough to tell me all about her day, so I may never know.  Good luck my sweet Claire. I love you.